Friday on my mind

Had a very strange Friday. First of all I have been sick all week with tummy issues, and I have been ignoring this too long, so if I get 5 minutes I problee should go to doc, haven't been able to look at hot food for about a week now, not that it's bad per se.

But yes back to Friday, I had a chair tango class at 4, with my favourite dance teacher Carolina who is from Columbia. Carolina is the spitting image of "Gloria" (Sofia Vergara) in Modern Family.

In other word, Carolina is the image if perfection, and her taste in music is equal to none, but then again she went to tango school in Argentina, no less.

Then had to go to PJ's debs drinks at his old school, I went in my gym gear, all parents were in penguin wear so I felt a tad out of place especially since my son was wearing a tux and his hair is about the same length as mine now. Anyhooo, taking into account that I had seen "IF" the previous night, I guess the other parents were lucky that I opted not to bring any weapons. But all the guys and dolls were lovely, my son in particular of course :-) and his girlfriend!

All the girls were beautiful, and all the guys looked quite uneasy in their tux, but hey what an opportunity to role play being gangsters.

So I went home, left them to deal with their first taste of how boring these types of events can be, and my friends Irma and Anne were coming that evening for a ciné-club night. We meet once in a while to watch a French or an Italian movie together, usually a comedy. This time it was Tanguy.

It was a nice enough comedy, you can never really go wrong with experienced comedic actors such as Sabine Azema and André Dussolier, basically about a son driving his parents demented as he is 28 and won't leave home, seemingly a common issue these days.

What a strange Friday it was.

THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

The other day I had a revelation in the dentist’s waiting room. My dentist, like most other dentists and doctors, usually has a huge array of women’s magazines to help their patients pass the time. Truth be said, I don’t know why he bothers because he is extremely punctual, so I am lucky if I even get to take a peak at Elle or Marie-Claire. Indeed, for my next visit, I plan to get there 30 minutes before my appointment so that I have time to peruse through his magazines. Anyway for some reason that time there weren’t any of the usual women's mags, maybe my dear dentist had to cancel some subscriptions because of the recession? What WAS available was a copy of Esquire magazine. I thought great! if I was to dip for the first time into the realm of men's magazines I could do worse. Esquire is a classy magazine. Full of expectations, I thus opened a gentleman's magazine for the very first time. It did not take me long to understand one thing which no matter how many womens’ magazine I flicked through in my life, I never understood before, I knew it, but never really fully felt it before. Here was my revelation!

Exhibits A & B

Clockwork Orange! The association screamed at me!

Exhibits C & D

I immediately think The Matrix. A vague ressemblance with Elvis, long coats? When did you ever see men in long coats on the street unless they are Goths, Neo's wannabes or priests?

  Exhibit E & F

What the ??? ....ZOOLANDER?
Exhibit G

You gotta admire the narrative behind this. They just had a romantic momentsssomewhere in the desert, and now he is off to work fully dressed in 110 degree heat, mind you he doesn't appear to be wearing socks, and she is just sprawled, presumably breathless and I should hope not dead (phew, at least I dont see any traces of blood!). Wow, just wow! Our grand-mas who burnt their bras some 45 years ago must be tearing their hair out.

Exhibit H

This one is just cute, 110% for trying, with Prince Charming going up the tower to rescue Rapuntzel. Wait,  did she just throw him 120 ties ??? It 's hair dahling! Hair, hair, hair!

Mind you these two are by far my favourites!

And I thought Zoolander was fiction, an exaggeration. You really gotta ask yourself who reads this! Mind you, you can't judge a book by the cover, amidst the ads for Italian shoes, Swiss watches and other electronica, here are some of the other features - how to make your own pipe, how to chop wood, how to pull the perfect pint, how to give a man hug - so far so good - how to hypnotize a chicken ???? I particularly enjoyed the sex advice column "It's all over her face", need i say more?

What she wants - Tonka Imperiale perfume by Guerlain, at £145, Damson Continental Purse by Smythson at £325, Wave phone by Samsung at hmmmm.... no price and of course the indispensable green leopard pony-hair bag by Dolce & Gabbana that she cannot do without at a mere £1,1162 !!!! LAMENTABLE!

There is also great boy stuff like football shoes, beer, whiskey gaming, computers, Tim Robbins, and a great article on great waves and tsunamis. And great tips, but strangely reminiscent of women's magazines. Check that out: How to stop gym boredom, or why man+woman+Ikea=row, and the unavoidable man’s guide to women, detailing how to decipher what she says, how to be unnaturally patient, what they expect of men etc, etc, etc…. Just change words around... and you get a female magazine, I rest my case.

But yes, I saw the light, I did realise that all this stuff is just two dimensional to bear any relationship with reality, people, men or women, don't look like that, relationships do not work like a car manual, no matter how much we would wish it to be the case, it would be too simple.

Thank you dear dentist! Through glancing through the Stepford husbands' magazines I got to see the other side of the mirror...

When is a triangle not a triangle?

Relax... This isn't a riddle!

Last week I took a stroll down to Ranelagh - my neighbourhood - which together with Rathmines is postcoded Dublin 6, to see what was on during the now yearly Ranelagh Arts Festival.

As I approached the heart of Ranelagh, I was suddenly reminded of Magritte and his "This is not a pipe" painting.

Here, when you got to Ranelagh, you also say that you go to the Triangle.

If you look at the map you can clearly see that this IS a triangle, but we human don’t live in 2 dimensions. Look at these two pictures, the triangularity of this particular spot is debatable (same place with more than 100 years apart).

But look this year the festival organizers were adamant that we would be reminded that this place was indeed a triangle.

They even tasteful chose some of the typical plants that grow in local gardens. How considerate! A few years ago they even built this weird pyramid right in the middle of the Triangle.

So why insist on filling this area with reminders that the place is in fact not a triangle ??? A guilty conscience no doubt! You see the Ranelagh Triangle is somewhat of a Bermuda Triangle, whole buildings disappear from there...

For people of a certain generation the Triangle is associated with a specific smell reminiscent of the famous Parisian "pissotières" (I believe this word is sufficiently clear that I don't need to translate it).

The Triangle had a certain mystique. There used to be a red brick edifice in the middle of the road very similar to this one

You guessed right,  this building used to be a public convenience for gentlemen.
What went on in there remains a secret never to be told by its male visitors. This place had mystique. Did George Micheal ever visit it ? You can imagine which kind of rumours were associated with this edifice, it is very likely that all sorts of illicit activities were going on in there, and even if they weren't, it did give the area an air of danger....So, you see, this place had to go. Despite its seedy beauty, the aul’ triangle went jingle jangle for the last time some cold morning of 2001, and that was the end of shedding a tear for Parnell in the middle of Ranelagh village.

However, do not despair, I’m off campaigning for the ultimate piece of art that I think by right belongs to the Triangle…..

It's none other than one of Marcel Duchamp’s ready mades Fontaines, it is sort of triangular, and … it is not a urinal!

(I don't expect many comments on this piece!)

Let them eat cake!

- Let them eat cake! - Marie-Antoinette once said (Although this is not historically accurate, seemingly she said - Let them eat brioche!)

The pastry industry was fast to catch on. This little motto "Mangez des gâteaux plus souvent" (Eat cake more often) is the well-estabished slogan of French pastry shops.

Will you look at this kid stuffing his face! Without the slightest remorse, they hand you out your croissant bagged in a Mangez des gâteaux plus souvent paper bag, box your Sunday after lunch treats in a Mangez plus des gâteaux plus souvent dainty cardboard box. They even had to compromise Germaine Bouret's talent in this conspiracy!

What's more, as if this was not good enough, your grand mother still insists/insisted that you should eat copious portions of the cakes she baked with love for you in her soul, simply because it was made only with "natural" ingredients. If you ask me, I think the Devil worked long hours devising this, and needless to say he does all this under the saintliest of guises. But isn’t gluttony a sin? And a cardinal one at that!

And yet French pastry chefs will stop at nothing. They even make cakes with saintly names just to make sure that you sin in the saintliest ways. Check this out

Here is a Religieuse

The religieuse is one large pastry cream-filled (most commonly chocolate or coffee cream)  profiterole topped by a smaller one, both glazed with fondant/glaze, and belted with crème Chantilly piped dots. It supposedly resembles a nun, hence the name.

Here is a Saint Honoré

The Saint Honoré is named after the French patron saint of bakers and pastry chefs, Saint Honoré, who was bishop of Amiens in 600 AD (thank you Wiki, you'r so good to me!)

This classic French dessert is a circle of puff pastry at its base with a ring of pâte à choux piped on the outer edge. After the base is baked small cream puffs are dipped in caramelized sugar and attached side by side on top of the circle of the pâte à choux. This base is traditionally filled with crème Chiboust and finished with whipped cream using a special Saint Honoré piping tip. (A crème Chiboust is a crème pâtissière lightened with whipped cream or stiffly beaten egg white.

Here is a Jésuite

This little devil is tasty triangle of iced puff pastry, with a cream filling, in the shape of a Jesuit’s hat with its upturned points.

Here is a Visitandine

Originally made by the sisters of the Visitation Order (hence their name), these are divine little oval cakes mostly made with almond powder. Some like to eat these with a soupçon of crème anglaise (to me, but custard to you!)

Here is a Sacristain (i.e. a sexton)

I can only presume that this puff party twist  powdered with icing sugar anf ground walnuts owes its name to its rope shape, since ringing the church bells is wothint the remit of this divine vocation.

Not to mention Pets de nonne (nun’s farts, yes you read right! Somethimes, more politely called Soupirs de Nonnes (ie nun’s sighs). It is reported that this choux pastry "fritter" was created when a young nun from the abbaye of Marmoutier let out a loud foul smelling noise. Embarrassed as she was, she drop a spoon of choux pastry she happened to be holding,i nto a pan of hot oil, and thus was born this delicious treat.

Argh! To Hell or to Heavens with it! This is all far too confusing for the gourmet soul… What are we to do ? Give into temptation ? Resist and be saintlier than the saints? If the sin of gourmandise (gluttony) is a capital one, it has a rather pretty name, and I’ll be damned if someone convinces this me that I am in danger of eternal torment when I give in to the guilty pleasure of savouring a religieuse au café, even though like many other women (and maybe even men), I will regret it instantly after the last bite.

Sigh… It really goes to show that you indeed cannot have your cake and eat it. Oh wait, maybe you can be sinful AND saintly :-)

So your man thinks he can wear a black leather jacket ?

If you’re going to wear a leather jacket, you gotta be worthy of it. Or so Marco, singer of long forgotten French punk band Wunderbar, once said to me.

He was of course trying  to justify the fact that he had just robbed some poor unfortunate "mummy-irons-my-jeans-with-designer-holes" punk rocker.

This was of course long after Edith Piaf, inspired by  Jerry Leiber & Mike Stoller, Black Denim Trousers and Motorcycle Boots immortalised this item of clothing in L'Homme à la moto
.
Il portait des culottes des bottes de moto, un blouson de cuir noir avec un aigle sur le dos... 
Sa moto qui partait comme un boulet de canon 
Semait la terreur dans toute la région.....
He wore motorbike pants and boots,
A black leather jacket with an eagle on the back.
His motorbike went like a cannonball
Spreading terror in the entire region.

The music spells danger, the guy sports an Eagle on the back of his black leather jacket, there is the essential  sense of impending doom...

A black leather jacket (BLJ) - and it HAS to be black - spells, youth, rebellion, rock and roll, bad boys, Altamont, even drugs. A BLJ oozes masculinity and freedom, it oozes danger and desire, hence, I guess, its ridiculously frequent recurrence in the world of fashion.

But boys beware! Because of its iconic associations, the BLJ is tough to wear. Despite its simplicity pulling off a BLJ is tricky, and if I may, here some useful tips from the very best.

Exhibit 1 - Marlo Brando in The Wild One

Very tough to wear. Observe the cap. You may not just attract the ladies in this gear!

Exhibit 2 - Jimmy Dean

Begin with the smoking The cigarette is not optional. So you may want to weigh the health implications...

The T-shirt is white, It can only be a regular undershirt –crew cut- t-shirt. In Grease,  Travolta wears it in tucked into his pants, another difficult one it pull off, if you dont have a six pack.

Exhibit 3 - The rock guys

Elvis

and Jim

This time, there is the requirement of the matching leather pants... and I believe right next to his skin... ROAARRRRRR (sadly I'll have to skip The Ramones for the purpose of this ditty).

Exhibit 5 - Peter Fonda in Easy Rider

The most elegant, the most sophisticated, the most iconic, and the most natural, in my mind.

The "Captain America' is a very different type of BLJ and is reported to have been designed by Peter Fonda and made by "two little old ladies" in Los Angeles. Ms. Amberg was reportedly the first person to mix colorful leathers to produce distinct jackets. Back then, the motorcycle jackets were predominantly black and it would probably be confusing to figure out who was who during a race. She was also the first woman owner of a motorcycle jacket company.

Fonda is reported to have worn that jacket until it wore out. Yes guys a BLJ isn't just for Chritsmas!

Most importantly watch carefully how Fonda mixes a psychedlic shirt, a neck tie and  killer shades.

Essentially behind its mask of harshness, the BLJ is an über-romantic item of clothing to pick. It is a brave choice, one which reveals in fact much femininity in a guy, since flashing a BLJ is actually a strong stylistic choice that not all males are prepared to do. Let's just say that the BLJ is to men what the LBD is to women, deceptively simple, It is an essential item of clothing for the guy who can wear it.

So has your man been a bad boy lately?

Oh, and one last credibility test. If your guy cannot say the following convincingly:
- We wanna be free! We wanna be free to do what we wanna do. We wanna be free to ride. We wanna be free to ride our machines without being hassled by The Man! ... - Heavenly Blues, aka Peter Fonda, The Wild Angels
He just isn't cut for the BLJ.
Yes life is unfair, and then you die!

Ready for take off!

- Danièle, you should write a blog.....That’s Becky for ya!
- Sure why not.
- Woman, write a blog!
- Alright, alright,! * sigh *
 
Yeah right, Miss Becky. How the heck do I do this thing. Like I don’t have anything else to do. Grrr... Like English was my native tongue…seeeeee…Like I don't have family to take care of…seeeeee…. I also have a job….. oh wait… maybe not.

These days, unbusy is the word, recession, an’all…and because I am self employed, and I love my job as a translator, I am very reluctant calling it a day, and go back out in the scary world to look for a job in a "real" company. Plus, really at my age, I should be entitled to keep working in a job I am good at, and a business I have developed over 22 years, right?

Retail therapy? My patience with shopping is very limited.

Coffee with my sisters? Well one of them lives in Ireland, miles away from me, the other three live in France

Visit my mum? She left this Earth 23 years ago, and my dad is in France.

Take care of my kids? They are grown now, and provide their own entertainment, and sometimes mine.

I have no dog, just myself to walk, and I don’t do city walking, BUT I do hiking, so you might hear about that here.

Dreaming awake, hell yeah! I may even write about this, you know… if you don’t dream awake, you end up never doing anything of value to yourself. Some folks call this having projects, like a project car or something, I call this dreaming; maybe I should have been an Inuit.

Talk to myself? Yeah I do that a lot, so why not blog and share? I once wrote a whole thingy about the importance of internal speech and language development, ah the good old days of learning… Yeah I think I’ll talk about learning too. Suddenly I find myself thinking about my primary school days, and the wonderful pictures that adorned my schools books.

And hey my house is full already; this place could be a new hideout, a little house in the tree, a treasure trove, a playground, or maybe even a junkyard.

See, I also talk to my fish a lot, and they are there with me.... See them swim? There is Galipette, Pirouette, Feu brillant, Boulotte and Josette, they love music and movies, that’s why the video bar at the bottom of this page !
Means they are less bored when I am not home. Right now, it’s only tuned on my channel, which shows my attempts at creating a couple slideshows out of… of what? …. Well, possibly of This and that….

Finally, on behalf of the captain (that would be me), may I personally thank Becky Wagner of Becky’s blog, who strongly encouraged me to take the plunge and start a blog.

Come, comment often, and enjoy the ramblings.

Coming up… I always wanted to be a pin up, cakes, Barbie, Aggie Mack, French comedies, chanteuses from the 1960’s, death memorials, planning a road trip, roadside architecture America, The importance of owning a green dress, Pam Grier, old school books, French cartoons, TV series, movies and book reviews, the path to Saint Jacques de Compostelle, things seen from my French point of view, how I became a translator, nursery rhymes, maybe even ….music…. This, that and a couple more things too…